Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Ramblings Of A Tired Mind....

  Been so hectic busy here, but all in a good way. Let me see if I can toss this out and then find repose in sleep since it is almost 3am.
  I have repainted every single wall that could be repainted in the last roughly 9 days. I have done all this alone. I have done all of this because since I woke up I have not felt like the house I live in is a HOME. That one word can mean so much. You can have a house live in it but it can't really be home until you make it your own and comfy. That is what I have set out to do. I am getting it done as well, slowly but surly, since I have to do the bulk of it alone. I begged for a while for Jay to help but he is the king of procrastination, and in his defense he works hard all week so, this is where I step in and I pick up the slack since this is something I desperately want done and he does not really care about. 
 The kitchen is now completely done! YAY! The boy's room needs just the trim to be done. Got angry with Jay for that one, I took Jess and Jonah to pick out the color they wanted ... they picked orange... fine with me, I did 2 walls and Jay said it was bad for lack of a better word. I left it orange for 3 days with my son going back and forth "I like it, I don't like it". On the 4th day Mommy stepped in went and bought Eggshell Almond and redid the whole room in that color. It is slightly darker than beige.. I love it and when all was said and done Jesse and Jonah LOVE it! Jami picked a dark blue (cringes) so we did her walls that color, and the trim that I will finish up tomorrow will be a light purple. The colors work well together I was amazed. When this is all over said and done I will feel like I have accomplished a good bit. I have work so hard on this and I am so satisfied with the results. Jami loves her room what more could I ask for?
 OK so on to a nicer note! I have PUPPIES! The arrived Monday, March 6, 2012. Two perfect precious little angels, one little girl and one little boy. My boys have taken to calling the little girl Bella even tho I told them we should not name her for a little while more *shrugs* Kids, what can you do?  My sister Tammie wants both of them but I have agreed to give her the male. Today working with the babies and just watching them I kept seeing a dog in my mind.... a tiny black and tan dog. Every time her face came to mind my heart broke a little more. I ask Jay when he got home if I had a dog, not a family dog but a ME dog... I did. I had 2 black and tan Chihuahuas. The baby one we got at 8 weeks old and we named her Baby... I have caught myself telling Jill *the doxie dog of my daughter's that had the puppies* "come on Baby dog we gotta go for a walk." Kind of a kick in the gut because I don't remember the dog but my heart grieves for the love that I feel and I lost if that makes any sense. 
 Jay saw this and understood thank god, he tells me "So, we're keeping Bella RIGHT?!" (God they got Jay doing it too, I so can't win this one lol) I can't think of having it any other way. My heart tells me I loved my chihuahua, and I know right now that I love Bella very very much, I have had my hands on this baby from the moment she was born, and now thanks to my loving husband I will have my hands on this baby the day she leaves us. That may seem morbid but it is not. God only gives us our pets to love for a little while, the worse thing I think I could ever ever do is say "I will NEVER get another one" ... that is not me... I loved one and I will love another this is in no way a slight to the pet I loved before. I am happy and sad this early morning... but here is the funny.. Jesse tells me "mom I have never had a dog" ..o.O "What honey? I never let you have a dog?" he answered "I never wanted one till now so if you decided to keep Bella I will help you train her and keep her safe." I really don't see this tiny little girl going anywhere ever. :)
 Now one more rant then I will head to bed since I think I have cried myself out for a while. If I see ONE more christian bitch about how Eve did us wrong I may go bonkers! HOLY HELL! Do I have a different copy of the bible than they do? In all my copies and all the translations it roughly says this "Eve took the apple then she TURNED to Adam and handed it to him." mmm Hello?! she turned to him.. meaning she did not have to go through Eden going "AAAAAAAAAAAAdam, hey AAAAAAdamn, Hey boy where is you?" So ok I will grant you she made a mistake .. but Adam was standing right there the whole time.. this is my take... If Adam had been any sort of a MAN at all..the minute the snake showed up he would have kicked his ass out of Eden. Adam should have said "Hold on a sec babe I got this!" but no.. he was a coward and just accepted what was handed to him. I think that when I get to heaven I will go kick Adam in the ass and ask him if he ever did grow a set of balls. *shrugs* not very nice I know but I am so sick of Christians blaming it all on Eve... she did not do it alone. That is my take on that. 
      I guess on that note I need to bring it to a close. Let's see, my eyes are finally getting heavy, this may come out as gibberish when I read it in the daylight but there will be no spelling errors with spell checker LOL. I am almost done with the house and I am happy with that. I get a new love in my life and I am thrilled with that I can't wait to watch her grow. All in All things are not so bad...