Been so hectic busy here, but all in a good way. Let me see if I can toss this out and then find repose in sleep since it is almost 3am.
I have repainted every single wall that could be repainted in the last roughly 9 days. I have done all this alone. I have done all of this because since I woke up I have not felt like the house I live in is a HOME. That one word can mean so much. You can have a house live in it but it can't really be home until you make it your own and comfy. That is what I have set out to do. I am getting it done as well, slowly but surly, since I have to do the bulk of it alone. I begged for a while for Jay to help but he is the king of procrastination, and in his defense he works hard all week so, this is where I step in and I pick up the slack since this is something I desperately want done and he does not really care about.
The kitchen is now completely done! YAY! The boy's room needs just the trim to be done. Got angry with Jay for that one, I took Jess and Jonah to pick out the color they wanted ... they picked orange... fine with me, I did 2 walls and Jay said it was bad for lack of a better word. I left it orange for 3 days with my son going back and forth "I like it, I don't like it". On the 4th day Mommy stepped in went and bought Eggshell Almond and redid the whole room in that color. It is slightly darker than beige.. I love it and when all was said and done Jesse and Jonah LOVE it! Jami picked a dark blue (cringes) so we did her walls that color, and the trim that I will finish up tomorrow will be a light purple. The colors work well together I was amazed. When this is all over said and done I will feel like I have accomplished a good bit. I have work so hard on this and I am so satisfied with the results. Jami loves her room what more could I ask for?
OK so on to a nicer note! I have PUPPIES! The arrived Monday, March 6, 2012. Two perfect precious little angels, one little girl and one little boy. My boys have taken to calling the little girl Bella even tho I told them we should not name her for a little while more *shrugs* Kids, what can you do? My sister Tammie wants both of them but I have agreed to give her the male. Today working with the babies and just watching them I kept seeing a dog in my mind.... a tiny black and tan dog. Every time her face came to mind my heart broke a little more. I ask Jay when he got home if I had a dog, not a family dog but a ME dog... I did. I had 2 black and tan Chihuahuas. The baby one we got at 8 weeks old and we named her Baby... I have caught myself telling Jill *the doxie dog of my daughter's that had the puppies* "come on Baby dog we gotta go for a walk." Kind of a kick in the gut because I don't remember the dog but my heart grieves for the love that I feel and I lost if that makes any sense.
Jay saw this and understood thank god, he tells me "So, we're keeping Bella RIGHT?!" (God they got Jay doing it too, I so can't win this one lol) I can't think of having it any other way. My heart tells me I loved my chihuahua, and I know right now that I love Bella very very much, I have had my hands on this baby from the moment she was born, and now thanks to my loving husband I will have my hands on this baby the day she leaves us. That may seem morbid but it is not. God only gives us our pets to love for a little while, the worse thing I think I could ever ever do is say "I will NEVER get another one" ... that is not me... I loved one and I will love another this is in no way a slight to the pet I loved before. I am happy and sad this early morning... but here is the funny.. Jesse tells me "mom I have never had a dog" ..o.O "What honey? I never let you have a dog?" he answered "I never wanted one till now so if you decided to keep Bella I will help you train her and keep her safe." I really don't see this tiny little girl going anywhere ever. :)
Now one more rant then I will head to bed since I think I have cried myself out for a while. If I see ONE more christian bitch about how Eve did us wrong I may go bonkers! HOLY HELL! Do I have a different copy of the bible than they do? In all my copies and all the translations it roughly says this "Eve took the apple then she TURNED to Adam and handed it to him." mmm Hello?! she turned to him.. meaning she did not have to go through Eden going "AAAAAAAAAAAAdam, hey AAAAAAdamn, Hey boy where is you?" So ok I will grant you she made a mistake .. but Adam was standing right there the whole time.. this is my take... If Adam had been any sort of a MAN at all..the minute the snake showed up he would have kicked his ass out of Eden. Adam should have said "Hold on a sec babe I got this!" but no.. he was a coward and just accepted what was handed to him. I think that when I get to heaven I will go kick Adam in the ass and ask him if he ever did grow a set of balls. *shrugs* not very nice I know but I am so sick of Christians blaming it all on Eve... she did not do it alone. That is my take on that.
I guess on that note I need to bring it to a close. Let's see, my eyes are finally getting heavy, this may come out as gibberish when I read it in the daylight but there will be no spelling errors with spell checker LOL. I am almost done with the house and I am happy with that. I get a new love in my life and I am thrilled with that I can't wait to watch her grow. All in All things are not so bad...
Showing posts with label puppies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puppies. Show all posts
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Still Busy, Puppies soon, and Cancer..
Wow, crazy here let's loop ourselves back in. Tammie had surgery Monday and came out fine! She came home yesterday and it okay. I spent Monday doing running with the hospital and things. Got home Monday afternoon to find the dumb dog of my daughter's ready to have her babies, thank go that was a false labor but it did get my butt in gear to get the things ready for them... So off to the store I go to get what I need... I called home to ask Jay a question got hung up on he was way cranky... got home to find Jay and the mother in law in the yard.
Jay's family and my family are close to say the least.... My father grew up with Jay's mother and brother... I grew up calling them aunt and uncle. Well, Jay uncle had a spot on his lung they found 4 months ago. Had it checked (4 months later! this was last Friday). At the time they found it they told him it was MILD COPD, and to quit smoking... they did the test thingy and lung ct Friday, got the results Monday. I knew all this, I was expecting something non-fatal, I mean come on ONE spot?!?! how could it be that bad? My mother in law was in tears, and I still tune up when I think of the results, the doctor has given him 6 months (best case) to live, the lung that had the one spot 4 months ago is completely eaten up with cancer. He is younger than my father and I used to spend every weekend during hunting season with him... 6 months?!?! On top of nothing can be done. They will do the radiation but that is just to kill what is there, and he was told to get his affairs in order. I am not sure at this point I have my brain around it. Of course the first thing I did was call my brother to tell him that I love him and just so he could cheer me up some.. oh and to tell him to get in touch with Daddy because I knew our Father would need him.
Uncle Jeff was told to stop working and so on so forth, he refuses. His exact words were "the doctors don't know shit" well, OK then.... I say if he really does only have a few months left then let him be happy. Damn the cost to our own peace of mind, if working does it, if being on the volunteer fire-dept. does it then so be it! I want to go see him and hug him but right now he is in denial and until he accepts this for what it is I can't go to him, and that I guess is ok too..... I will do as I have been doing and just pray.
So over the last weekend we renovated the kitchen and since it has been so hectic we are still in the process of putting it back together.. fun, fun, fun.
Plus this last week I have not gotten much sleep, between the dumb fat prego dog, and Jesse having night terrors I am wiped. I don't know what do to for Jesse. I know that as a child around his age I had nightmares too that were horrible, but I had way more awful images in my head than he does and I shared a bed with my big sister so I was never alone!.... I will have to work on something tho, I hate the thought of him being alone and scared even if I am only a couple rooms away. Maybe a touch lamp or something, I don't know but ... OH! and Jay is so bad at this stuff! He yelled at my son last night! I could have freaking killed Jay. I swear Jay does not remember what it was like to be a little guy and be scared. He acts like his father, who was a very loving man but not compassionate at all. I know it is hard to go over and over the same ground with a 9 year old, I know it is not easy to repeat yourself since, I mean, Hey come on you are the adult tell you once and you got it but, give up he is a little boy. So I spent half the night with Jess then came to bed and did not say a word to Jay and I have not talked to him today either I am still mad at him. MEN!!
I think that rounds out this last week more to come I am sure... but this is my brain drain for the week. I will leave you with AWOLNATION "Kill Your Heros"...
Jay's family and my family are close to say the least.... My father grew up with Jay's mother and brother... I grew up calling them aunt and uncle. Well, Jay uncle had a spot on his lung they found 4 months ago. Had it checked (4 months later! this was last Friday). At the time they found it they told him it was MILD COPD, and to quit smoking... they did the test thingy and lung ct Friday, got the results Monday. I knew all this, I was expecting something non-fatal, I mean come on ONE spot?!?! how could it be that bad? My mother in law was in tears, and I still tune up when I think of the results, the doctor has given him 6 months (best case) to live, the lung that had the one spot 4 months ago is completely eaten up with cancer. He is younger than my father and I used to spend every weekend during hunting season with him... 6 months?!?! On top of nothing can be done. They will do the radiation but that is just to kill what is there, and he was told to get his affairs in order. I am not sure at this point I have my brain around it. Of course the first thing I did was call my brother to tell him that I love him and just so he could cheer me up some.. oh and to tell him to get in touch with Daddy because I knew our Father would need him.
Uncle Jeff was told to stop working and so on so forth, he refuses. His exact words were "the doctors don't know shit" well, OK then.... I say if he really does only have a few months left then let him be happy. Damn the cost to our own peace of mind, if working does it, if being on the volunteer fire-dept. does it then so be it! I want to go see him and hug him but right now he is in denial and until he accepts this for what it is I can't go to him, and that I guess is ok too..... I will do as I have been doing and just pray.
So over the last weekend we renovated the kitchen and since it has been so hectic we are still in the process of putting it back together.. fun, fun, fun.
Plus this last week I have not gotten much sleep, between the dumb fat prego dog, and Jesse having night terrors I am wiped. I don't know what do to for Jesse. I know that as a child around his age I had nightmares too that were horrible, but I had way more awful images in my head than he does and I shared a bed with my big sister so I was never alone!.... I will have to work on something tho, I hate the thought of him being alone and scared even if I am only a couple rooms away. Maybe a touch lamp or something, I don't know but ... OH! and Jay is so bad at this stuff! He yelled at my son last night! I could have freaking killed Jay. I swear Jay does not remember what it was like to be a little guy and be scared. He acts like his father, who was a very loving man but not compassionate at all. I know it is hard to go over and over the same ground with a 9 year old, I know it is not easy to repeat yourself since, I mean, Hey come on you are the adult tell you once and you got it but, give up he is a little boy. So I spent half the night with Jess then came to bed and did not say a word to Jay and I have not talked to him today either I am still mad at him. MEN!!
I think that rounds out this last week more to come I am sure... but this is my brain drain for the week. I will leave you with AWOLNATION "Kill Your Heros"...
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