Thursday, February 23, 2012

Still Busy, Puppies soon, and Cancer..

   Wow, crazy here let's loop ourselves back in. Tammie had surgery Monday and came out fine! She came home yesterday and it okay. I spent Monday doing running with the hospital and things. Got home Monday afternoon to find the dumb dog of my daughter's ready to have her babies, thank go that was a false labor but it did get my butt in gear to get the things ready for them... So off to the store I go to get what I need... I called home to ask Jay a question got hung up on he was way cranky... got home to find Jay and the mother in law in the yard.
 Jay's family and my family are close to say the least.... My father grew up with Jay's mother and brother... I grew up calling them aunt and uncle. Well, Jay uncle had a spot on his lung they found 4 months ago. Had it checked (4 months later! this was last Friday). At the time they found it they told him it was MILD COPD, and to quit smoking... they did the test thingy and lung ct Friday, got the results Monday. I knew all this, I was expecting something non-fatal, I mean come on ONE spot?!?! how could it be that bad? My mother in law was in tears, and I still tune up when I think of the results, the doctor has given him 6 months (best case) to live, the lung that had the one spot 4 months ago is completely eaten up with cancer. He is younger than my father and I used to spend every weekend during hunting season with him... 6 months?!?! On top of nothing can be done. They will do the radiation but that is just to kill what is there, and he was told to get his affairs in order. I am not sure at this point I have my brain around it. Of course the first thing I did was call my brother to tell him that I love him and just so he could cheer me up some.. oh and to tell him to get in touch with Daddy because I knew our Father would need him.
 Uncle Jeff was told to stop working and so on so forth, he refuses. His exact words were "the doctors don't know shit" well, OK then.... I say if he really does only have a few months left then let him be happy. Damn the cost to our own peace of mind, if working does it, if being on the volunteer fire-dept. does it then so be it! I want to go see him and hug him but right now he is in denial and until he accepts this for what it is I can't go to him, and that I guess is ok too..... I will do as I have been doing and just pray. 
 So over the last weekend we renovated the kitchen and since it has been so hectic we are still in the process of putting it back together.. fun, fun, fun. 
 Plus this last week I have not gotten much sleep, between the dumb fat prego dog, and Jesse having night terrors I am wiped. I don't know what do to for Jesse. I know that as a child around his age I had nightmares too that were horrible, but I had way more awful images in my head than he does and I shared a bed with my big sister so I was never alone!.... I will have to work on something tho, I hate the thought of him being alone and scared even if I am only a couple rooms away. Maybe a touch lamp or something, I don't know but ... OH! and Jay is so bad at this stuff! He yelled at my son last night! I could have freaking killed Jay. I swear Jay does not remember what it was like to be a little guy and be scared. He acts like his father, who was a very loving man but not compassionate at all. I know it is hard to go over and over the same ground with a 9 year old, I know it is not easy to repeat yourself since, I mean, Hey come on you are the adult tell you once and you got it but, give up he is a little boy. So I spent half the night with Jess then came to bed and did not say a word to Jay and I have not talked to him today either I am still mad at him. MEN!!
 I think that rounds out this last week more to come I am sure... but this is my brain drain for the week. I will leave you with AWOLNATION "Kill Your Heros"...