Sunday, February 26, 2012

From Annoyed to Blue in an hour

 So, I took a hot shower, scrubbed the paint and dust from my hair. Followed by a LONG HOT bath to get my muscles to stop twitching. While I soaked I took stock of myself.... I am not pleased. I have stretch marks from hell, my hair is down to my waist just about, I have 2 piercings, and a couple tattoo's that I don't remember. I have dropped around 8 pounds which would not be a big deal to any one else but to me it shows and I get remarks on it. 
  I love the nose piercing and I could take or leave the belly ring. I love my tiny infinity symbol on my wrist and I guess having Jay's name on my hip is not so bad. I hate the stretch marks they are so ugly. I was told I gained a huge amount of weight with the kids and that is where the stretch marks came from. Since I can't remember that part and all I see is an ugly thing to me it makes me sad. I don't mind being skinny but what I am so sick of is others telling me to add weight. Why is it that what is pleasing to us as a personal definitive of the word pleasing is always the opposite to others? *Shakes Head* I say if you are happy at 100lbs GREAT, if not then add weight, if you are happy at 300 GREAT, if not then drop some weight..Yes, I know it is hard work but if you are unhappy then fix it don't whine about it. I am happy at 100lbs I just wish others would back off me about it, that's all. My hair is another thing I am sick of almost. I don't remember it ever being this long. Yes I have pictures of it being down past my hips but I don't remember that, the only hair style I remember is short, short, short! It takes forever to wash and comb my hair out, then oh god to brush it out the next day... I will so pass thanks.
   I think at that point my brain went on auto pilot, just poof and I was in a fog so thick I can't put two words together and have them come  out correctly to save my life. 
 I am in a BIG anti-social mood. I just don't want to talk to anyone, the husband and kids included. My brother came by with his family to see what Jay was up to and did not even come inside to see me.... bastard! I guess the fog was so thick that he could not see me... I don't know but when his wife called a few minutes ago about their sick dog, I was not rude but I was curt. I am  only noticed when they need something and I am damn sure sick of it. 
 So, Jay tells me "you have to go to Walmart and buy me new shoes for work, I can't wear these in tomorrow."  o.O "What?! you knew they would get covered in red clay... oh hell naw do not expect me to run around for you tonight I worked just as hard as you did painting the kitchen ALONE! Go yourself." I am so not his mother. if he wants new shoes that badly he will have to go, I will not risk driving anywhere tonight with the fog as thick as it is. I am amazed that I have managed this blog post thus far but even though I am having to back up and retype things it is far easier to get it out in type form than in spoken.. and that sucks on a whole new level. 
 My darling daughter forgot her DSi with her Granny on Friday. I had warned her several times about that, and the fact that I would not run back across town Friday afternoons to get it for her. Well, I did not go Friday and got so busy Saturday I forgot to take her. I did take her in between coating the kitchen walls today. She has made us all a nice dinner and is happy as can be. With food taken care of I am free to lay on my bed, do another blog post, put head phones on and generally ignore everyone. 
 I feel like I worked my little ass off this weekend and got little done with no one to care. While the boys were outside I made sure they had drinks and I went out in between coats of paint to talk with them, tell them what a good job they were doing at such a hard task. I am just fed-up and tired I guess. I was so angry earlier tonight but that burned out fast and now I am just blue. I think that I am going to turn on the most boring thing I can find and call it an early, very early night. I am hoping that tomorrow I will get the last coat over the walls since it does indeed need another coat, and that it will be an easy day if at all possible. Here is to hopes and dreams.