Day 6

Happy Halloween, welcome to day 6.
 Was a bit easier to say goodbye to Jay this morning but I am still not liking the idea that he is not with me, even though I know he must go to work. 
 I am working on getting my house uncluttered and we have made great progress over the weekend. All rooms are done except the bedrooms and laundry room. Those are on my plan for today. I am also starting the kids back to school work, I am terrified that I will flub this up but we have to try anyway. 
 I seem to be having weird dreams too, not scary just haunting that tend to want to stick with me even when I am awake fully. 
 It is odd, I remember not being a morning person, I hated to get up early, but since the 25th Jay has been waking me when he must leave for the day and I am okay with that. It is nice that for the first couple hours the house is quiet. I have one child that gets up but he sits quietly and plays the computer. 
 Jesse is my quiet peace keeper for the most part. I have not had to fuss at him at all since I woke up. He is so agreeable to everything and so willing the help no matter what. We have spend the last couple mornings when Jay went to work talking and he tells me he needed that alone time with me for reassuring. It is breaking my heart that I can't remember having him but thank god I remember that I love him. Even on the first traumatic morning, when I did not know who he was to me, I knew I would die for him before I let him get hurt. I feel that way about all three of the children, that is a small blessing and tells me I was a devoted mother. 
 Jami... she is (sighs) an almost teenager and has a smart mouth. I love her but she makes me want to smack the snot out of her to. She is also a very funny scatter brain child. She is super smart and reads as well as I do. She is clever in her wit too, but she is like one of those really smart guys that just float through life. I have found I have to keep her focused on task at hand and not to give her more than one instruction at a time. On the one hand it is kind of funny on the other hand it can be exhausting.
 Jonah, my beloved little guy. He  is six and the only big thing that I changed was his whining. He talks perfectly well and reads and so forth, at 6 his reading was amazing to me. So again we are not dealing with an ignorant child. He would whine though, ALOT! That had to go. By day 3 when I accepted this is my life, as it always was they tell me, I started working with Jonah on the whining. He is the baby of my three, they tell me I always treated him as such, but now I think I can take a different look at this family. He is NOT a baby even if he is my youngest child, and I feel at 6 he should not whine to get his way. Yes by all means come talk to Mom, and let me help you solve your problems but don't whine AT Mom because it just drives me bonkers. I am pleased to say that we are making progress on this as well. 
 I have also found we have a good amount of pets most of which live outside. We have a HUGE fenced in yard so that is fine. I feel no attachment to any of these pets except the one tiny black cat that stays inside. Jami tells me that all the pets are her's or Jesse's, that my very loved chihuahua had to be put to sleep early this year. 
I woke up to this kitten and was told he was brought home only a couple weeks ago. His name is Abendago but he is such a tiny guy I have been calling him Benny. He really has been my sanity keeper. He does not require anything mentally taxing from me. Fill his food and water bowl, keep the litter box clean and that is that. He does think that hands and feet are toys and attacks them often but that is okay. He sleeps with me at night  and roams the house in the day only coming to me when he gets tired. It is nice in it's own way.
 So I have rambled enough for this morning. It is getting close to 8 and I will have to get the other kids up and get the day started soon. Here's to hoping I don't freak by lunch time, that my first home schooling day goes smoothly, that I get my chores does as I want to and that I can stay chipper.