It is the day after Christmas, let's see where we are.
UGH! all 3 kids are sick with colds, and they shared! ugh ugh ugh! The lasagna went off with out a hitch, it was perfect. The kids loved their gifts, Jay was happy with his presents, and I was happy with mine. Jesse also had his very first sleep over and they did an "awake-a-thon" in which my niece A kicked his butt by almost 3 am, *laughs softly* I remember those days. Hide and Seek with Angel at midnight, when they were too scared to go outside but I was raised with the Hunting Freak and had no hang-ups about being outside in the dark at all.... I think that was a life-time ago now.
Let's see Jay and I had words Christmas eve over the dogs, and we have a new agreement, plus Jami has a new set of rules for them. None of our pets are inside except the ones that stay in tanks, the dogs, and the ninja kitty. So, yeah OKAY I get it, she needs better control of her dogs, and she has one month to get it into shape, with my help she will make it. Jay can threaten all he likes, personally I don't think I would miss the dogs to much but they are Jami's joy so, I can't allow him to upset my kid like that. Long as he NEVER threatens the Ninja Kitty we are all good. Well, I say that, the weird thing is that Jami's cat "Princess" had decided that she wants to be mine now too. I never saw myself as a "cat-person" but I guess this is cool. All in, except the fact that, Princess and Benny are NOTHING LIKE! Princess is more vocal and wants to be on your lap to be loved on (only with me, everyone else she runs from). Benny just wants to be by you but not touched by you unless he comes to your hand, and if you touch him he is likely to attack what ever you touched him with, funny as hell when it is Jay or the kids getting attacked. Like they don't know the rules, which they do, they just ignore them... Funny! We do have another cat, a big FAT orange fluffy thing Jesse calls "Garfield". He is the definition of an ally cat. He comes home only to eat and hangs out then leaves again, sometimes for weeks at the time. That one is all Jesse's. So Jay can threaten the dogs, hell the fish too for all I care but the cats are not to be touched! Putting my little foot down here with a "try me" dare tossed over my shoulder.
Yesterday was spent with the loving Mother in law.... and for me it was weird. She went out of her way and stepped on my toes on more than one occasion, and kept repeating things that were just depressing. I ask Jay if she was searching for a reaction and was unhappy with mine... His answer was that if I had remembered I would be more compassionate. While this may be true it does not change the fact that I don't remember and therefore don't care, the truth can suck at times but it is all I have left to deal with. On that front, with her at least, I am giving all I can, plus sorry but I don't care to give more even if I could.
I have finally gotten to the place that I am not upset when I get ask things I don't remember... except if you ask me more than one time on different things. Like, for instance, I have the most precious black boots, they are freaking darling! When ask where do you got them I always answer "well, I can tell you I have had them more than 2 months ." Then I laugh, it is humorous now to me, but when I told her that she then decided to bring out pictures ummmm if I don't remember where I got the boots I will not remember anything recent...is it that hard to get? Time, people, places, events are all GONE! I am not sure if they will ever come back. A month ago that would have really upset me but now it is just ... how it is. So she goes: "This person goes to your church"... "Great Barbara, since I don't know who goes to my church"......."Where did you get your glasses I think they need to be adjusted so they don't slip down your nose".... *deep breath* "I don't know where they came from Barbara ask your son" and so forth. Talk about pushing my buttons.
OH, and I personally think my sister in law (Jay's sister) is a snob. From what I gather he and she got into a disagreement and this was the first time they talked in over 6 months.. WTH!?!?! maybe that works for them but there is no way under the stars I would be that nice to my siblings. Of course I could not go 6 months and not talk to one of my siblings. I am the ring leader whether or not any one likes it. They might get 6 weeks out of me then I would call or show up and settle it. I just don't get it with those 2. The really baffling part is that there are only 2 of them... Just for me it is a WOW! really?!?! I guess it can be somewhat, loosely, explained by the fact that my family adopted Jay and now he has me and 3 siblings to call his. I don't know how Jackie is with her husbands family. So to say the least that was an interesting experience.
I have also found that this is my place to make it all about me with zero guilt. That is good in the fact that there is NO WHERE else that it is all about me. I guess my old way was to turn it back to all about who ever it needed to be about and not me but... I have found the hard way that sometimes, damnit, it needs to be all about me. This is the place that it can be all about me and that is a good thing.
So we are done with Christmas and I think I am ready for the new year with all its ups and down.