I'm done for. I spent the day being more confused than I can ever remember *grand total of 2 weeks and one day*.
I had it in my brain to scrub the kitchen, the stove and oven. I got the stove done with no problem, took the racks out of the oven moved them to be cleaned and scrubbed the oven. The time had come to cook dinner, I spent 20 minutes on the floor trying to figure out how the racks went back in the oven..... let's just say I was reduced to tears by the time I got it figured out, but I did get them back in.
I am at a low spot tonight, lower than I have been since I woke up. I feel like I have needed so much support in the last couple weeks that it is pathetic. I feel pitiful, and sad. I am bone tired and my brain is refusing to work right. (Even as I key this out I am having to back up because I keep making mistakes.) I feel useless and weak.
The Why's have set in big time tonight too and we know the why's don't have answers. Why me? Why did I deserve this? Why must I keep going this path? Why have my memories not come back? Why can I stand on my own 2 feet and not feel abandoned? Why, oh god, WHY can't any of it make sense???? Because tonight nothing makes much sense.
I have taken a hot shower, and I have retreated to my bed. I fully intend to call it an early night and I am praying that tomorrow will be much better, because if it is not I don't know how much more I can bear......