Monday, November 21, 2011

Ok so maybe Not...

I thought when I got up, that Monday was for overcoming but now 
I am thinking maybe it is not. I am wound up in myself today, and I am not sure I like it, on the other hand it maybe not be a bad thing either. I found on my laptop over 4 hours of my favorite band, every song they every made, WOW. So I am going over that and I have hijacked one of the kids mp3 players so that I can hear it while I work.
I want, and had planned on sending an email to a friend but every time I start I lose what I want to say, or I lose the way I want to say it, or I get scared and decide not to say it at all. It is just strange.
I am trying to find me still.... I am still searching.... just when I thought I had it all figured out.
We made it to the grocery store today, and the library. I made myself a new promise today as well ... NEVER again will I go grocery shopping with all 3 kids ... NEVER! The library was not so bad but the grocery store was a nightmare of the waking kind. It has me asking how the hell I did it before. Oh God, just ugh!
Jay says get a book and run away for a while... to where is what I would love to know. It will be dark in an hour and I will not go out in the dark, I can't go relax in a hot bath because the kids will just annoy me even in there. I can't retreat to my bedroom because HA HA I don't really have one. I can't go to my Father's because his house is more crazy than mine. So Where The Hell Can I Go?
I hate the afternoons when I feel like this.
I have found out something new tho, and this will thrill a friend of mine, my headaches are triggered by dehydration some of the times. When I noticed that I was drinking less than 12 oz's of fluid a day and that was Pepsi, that means I am not getting enough in. So for the last week I have been getting a lot of water in me and my head has not hurt yet... I am praying this is the key to at least some of them. Plus I am wondering why the hell the doctors never freaking picked up on this before, since they know it all anyway.
Wow, okay, so I am bitter and I am going to go unplug somewhere before I run away or kill myself or kill someone else in this freaking house. I am ready for ROLL ON TUESDAY!

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