So, not the best night, I was up walking the floor till after 5am. Between the not being able to sleep and the nightmare that got me back up before 10am, it isn't looking like a great day.
Oh, but, it gets worse, I get a phone call at 10:30am, it is my Father and he is in tears, can't speak, scared me to death! A cousin that he grew up with passed away last night. I barely knew them so I am not so much personally upset by their passing, but my Dad was close to them, and when Daddy is upset I am ready to tear down walls to make it right. I could not get a hold of my youngest siblings, which is PISSING ME OFF! My brother should be the one Dad can turn to in my humble opinion, but none of us have a way to reach him.
So... I get Dad calmed down and I have to drive him to the funeral tomorrow. I don't mind that so much but it presents an interesting problem, NONE of my clothes fit... in the last 6 weeks since I have been so sick I have lost close to 15 pounds and I could not afford to lose it in the first place but now I really do not have anything to wear that fits. All my clothes are baggy, which is fine around the house but not out and about.
I am frustrated that I have to be the emotional catch all for my Father, though I understand why it must be this way. E is out of pocket, T worked 12 hrs last night and MUST sleep, and A.. oh glory, we will not even touch that one. It just makes me sad, honestly, and if this is the way it was, only much worse, then I can see why I got overloaded and lost my damn mind.
So here we go, Saturday's Woes... Jay is taking me to the store to grab odds and ends then we are going to Georgia to find the church so that I can get there with my Father on time tomorrow. I have had less than 5 hours sleep, I am pale, drawn, and exhausted... Oh, Lord, give me strength, is my prayer for this weekend, as I remind myself to just breathe...