Monday...

It begins again, a new week. I did nothing much yesterday. We girls kicked the boys arse on the fire challenge Saturday and got called cheaters. Jay had agreed to the rules before but he and Jesse are sore losers I guess. 
I played my game Sunday and helped *by supervising* expand the chicken's coop. 
 This Monday I have been up since before 7am and gotten a LOT done. The laundry got behind months ago *according to Jay* but with no dryer I have no way to catch up on it. I am reduced to hanging the clothes out, which is fine, saves on the light bill, but takes a long time to get them dry, and it is murder on  my back. I am staying just a head of what we need on a daily basis but not getting caught up. I got Jami to straighten up the kitchen and then both the big kids helped me kick out my bedroom which is more like a den with a bed in it than a bedroom since that is where we all are 98% of the time if we are awake. 
 I am getting so frustrated with the children, as bad as this reads, but being with them all the time is draining. I find myself wondering how I did it before and stayed sane. I guess in a way I did not do it to well since I lost my memory. They are not bad children, but they are children. I ask Jay about it and he said he has no advice but that I always just handled it. Jami said "It's called being a Mother, deal with it".... what can I say to that? All three of them have been pushing my buttons today. 
 I am still getting chased by nightmares at night, and I wish I was not, it makes for a LONG night with only snatches of sleep. I can never recall what scares me in the dreams upon waking I just wake terrified, with my heart pounding. 
 So now it is afternoon and I feel my game calling my name. I need to let it all go for a while.