Saturday, November 5, 2011

If it was done...

If it was done when it was done, then it was best that it was done quickly...
Let's close Day 11 with a very frustrated sigh....
I got nothing I wanted to do done, NOTHING. I got the bedroom half clean and then Jay argues with me over the rearranging it. Argued with me to the point of giving me a tension headache... to the point where I toss my hands up and go "ok I am done, fuck it". Jay told me I would always wait till he went to work then do as I damn well pleased. I would do that but my bed weighs double me and I can't move it alone. Plus I am still sick which I am sick of being sick! I guess I am just disgusted tonight, and frustrated.
 The bathroom is clean tho, and the kitchen is clean even if it is not deep scrubbed. 
I am still in a some what of a daze... that reads really horrid but the simple truth, all of this, of what is my life, is a lot to take in and it can't be done in just 11 days. I know I need to give myself some breathing room but that is so freaking hard to do. 
 I know I must be frustrating the hell out of those who love me and care enough to talk to me. They have to be tired of talking with me and getting the responses "who, what?". I am personally tired of asking. 
 I, also, have yet to see a couple of family members, have not seen them since I woke up. That is heartbreaking and eye opening all at once. 
 I thought that my heart could not break anymore, and that there were no tears left in me. I was so sure I was done with the down side of this amnesia stuff... I was wrong. So on that note, I am going to bed early and hoping to rise with a better outlook.

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